Gizeroon: Dear Kim Kardashian

It's about time I weighed in, just like your brother Khloe has to every morning for L.A. Weight Loss, on this whole celebrity thing you've perpetuated on the public and to offer my heartfelt and sincere wishes for a painless death to your soon to be husband, Kris Humphries. I can understand why he had sex with you, really I can. Who wouldn't want a slice of that big ol' booty at least once? I'd like to give it a shot but I am afraid it would be a lost cause with all the damage done by the black men you've dated. Speaking of which, it seems you couldn't keep a black guy around so you settled for the closest thing to one, a mediocre basketball player. I mean dig a little deeper like big bad Khloe did and nab a real player (I didn't even know Lamar Odom was gay!), not a third string bench player that has been on four teams in six years, but I digress.

Her only claim to fame is having fat on her ass.

Putting this wedding thing aside for a second and talking about your supposed celebrity status. You come from a wealthy family, your father was a lawyer for the extremely popular O.J. Simpson, and your mother remarried after the divorce from your father to the medal winning runner and lesbian, Bruce Jenner.

Ugly Lesbian or Crypt Keeper?

I scan that last little blurb and see absolutely nothing about why I should Idolize you or your retarded family. Unlike the Jersey Shore, I've actually watched Keeping up with the Kardashians and it is painful how stupid, annoying, selfish, and self centered you bitches are. Ryan Seacrest is either a genius for producing your show or dumb as jello pudding and got real lucky.

I mean do you guys do anything worthy of the attention you receive? I could be talking to Miss Hilton too, but it seems as though she has been laying low for awhile. Maybe somebody told her she wasn't talented, I don't know. If they did, I wish they would tell you. I mean Kendra posed naked and that's got plenty of worth right there, to get her shows and even though she likes to show off with no makeup a lot (a sin in my eyes for a celeb), at least she seems like she is grounded to the Earth and her head isn't full of dandelion fuzz.

Just wow

You actually got this dummy to buy you a 20.5 carat diamond ring. Does that sink in at all? 20.5 carat diamond! You've done nothing even remotely talented. Not even close. You found a big dummy to buy you the world on his meager NBA salary and he may not even get to work this year. You guys seem like you have it all figured out and I really hope you do, but you don't. You'll be divorced in two years and Humphries will be on another team or out of the NBA all together. So in reality this is just another "look at me, I'm Kim K." moment. No real value in the wedding or the vows or your future with this guy, kinda like the rest of your life.