Gizeroon: Dear NASA

Hey guys and girls, how are you? Good, good, I hope you are enjoying that well deserved rest. I know you'll be busy keeping us on Earth when you start to work on spacey things again so you need your rest. Just kidding! You guys are probably playing beer pong on one of Atlantis' wings right now before you put her up for good, huh?

Original Lunar space shuttle.

I will say this, thanks for the last five or six decades and all of the progress that was made and for winning that "big space race" thing and all. Certainly your best times are behind you and by that I mean the sixties through the late eighties, when you had missions scheduled and didn't have plans on making us look like the friend with no car to the rest of the world. You really showed those Russians fifty years ago right? It must be there turn to do the awesome outer space flying leader thing and we can go to drinking potato alcohol and having all of our women look like mattresses, dirty ones.

It WAS great but really it's just Earth's garage. Pull out of the driveway!

Are we really going to let other countries go further than next door in a bigger badder ship than we can cook up? I mean we always touted ourselves as the best country and the greatest, and blah, blah, blah. Image is a big part of our credibility and I am just wondering and was going to run it past you guys that maybe we aren't as "great" as we keep telling ourselves. Our image now is a bunch of guys who can't even get it up...into space at all! I know those Lockheed boys have designs and so do some less than stellar countries out there. Maybe we reshuffle some of that anti-smoking money and don't drink and drive bullshit that every small child knows and build a goddamn awesome ship that will wake up our neighboring countries when we start it up at three in the morning. I honestly believe we ARE working on some new shit but come on NASA, give us a bone at least for morale sake. America is counting on you to get us a big jug of Martian Viagra and put our pink butts on the red planet. We used to watch the skies, now we are watching you.